A Warning about "Crotch-Rockets"

Bulletin to Clients with Advice Concerning Motorcycles:

In my criminal defense practice I have noted an alarming trend concerning the police and those clients with motorcycles. Effective immediately, my legal advice to all clients owning or riding motorcycles affectionately known as “crotch rockets” is to stop. This advice is particularly so for clients who are already in legal jeopardy with pending criminal litigation; or are already on probation. Based on what I have seen I believe the average beat cop views these vehicles and those who ride them with pure and utter contempt. This is not simply a case where someone is more likely to ‘get a ticket’ if they ‘happen to get stopped.’ Those days went out with James Dean when there was a kinder and gentler justice system unlike the one we have today. I have found the majority of police officers with nothing more pressing to do will seize every opportunity to immediately pursue; detain; search; and arrest the drivers of these vehicles if they can. Merely riding one down a public street is an open invitation for legal problems in general; and sometimes very serious ones for those that for legal reasons should be trying to blend into the fabric of society. Riding one of these vehicles makes some very profound and unfavorable statements about you to the average stationary beat-cop which equates to an open invitation for legal problems. For these reasons alone I am advising all clients to stay off and away from these vehicles. I personally have nothing against motorcycles of any kind. This is pure and simple legal advice with no comment or opinion of the social issues associated with it. For many and for legal reasons alone merely riding a “crotch rocket” will result in serious legal situations when they’re just trying to go about their business.